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"... A new sheriff in town, in the world of hair" [1]

Okay, so American Idol tonight? The contestants can choose from any song in the 2000s—and what do these connoisseurs of fine modern pop choose? Creed, Tim McGraw, & a boring Beyoncé song. [2]

Now, so: I understand there are licensing issues, &c.

But seriously, what the fuck?

So, dear future—or current—Idol contestants, should this particular challenge week ever again rear its ugly head, here are some suggestions [3].

Annie, “Chewing Gum” (Listen)

(Or the Hey Willpower + Annie version thereof.) Perhaps not a particularly tough vocal, but still a nice combination of a sort of charm & sexuality. Kellie, perhaps, but it may be too far out of her country comfort zone.

Backstreet Boys, “Shape of my Heart” (Listen)

So, I know that Backstreet Boys specifically—& boy pop in general—aren’t exactly in vogue, but seriously: this is brilliant pop music, and I’d expect someone like Ace to be able to pull this off, synchronized camera pouts & all.

Eamon, “Fuck It” (Listen)

Now this: I could see Elliot just eating this up. It’s a novelty song, sure, but it’s got that wannabe-Stevie-but-angry-&-nasty thing going on.

Girls Aloud, “Biology” [4] (Listen)

It’s not a competition without Girls Aloud! Honestly, I don’t know who could do this justice. Maybe it’d have to be a group thing, like those strange group performances they do from time to time.

Jamie Lidell, “When I Come Back Around”

Taylor, I’m looking at you, you symbol of prematurely gray neo-soul! Plus, miming the keyboard solo would win anyone total points in my book.

Ms. Dynamite, “Dy-Na-Mi-Tee” (Listen)

Paris!

She’s my favorite, and while some of these picks are motivated by a sort of morbid curiosity, I would really, really like to hear Paris sing this.

Scissor Sisters, “Return to Oz” (Listen)

Now, this just might have the right sense of melodrama & bombast to win the crowd ever. If someone like Chris Daughtry were to sing it, it might elevate him from the sub-Stone Temple Pilots rut he’s got himself into now.

Will Young, “Leave Right Now”

Perhaps a bit of an obvious pick, considering his start in the pop business, but this is a top pop song.

& there’s so much more! Justin Timberlake; Shakira; Hey Willpower; Gwen Stefani; Robbie Williams; &c.

And I’ll just say this: if any contestant were to ever sing a chapter of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”, he/she would be my favorite vote forever, and I would probably be compelled to write some silly application that would vote a million times for that contestant. Or something.

[1] “But who wants to shoot the sheriff?” Oh, Blow Out.

[2] The only inspired choice was Katherine’s choice of Christina Aguilera’s “The Voice Within,” which was just okay in terms of her performance, but it’s hard to ruin that song.

[3] Though if last’s season’s butchering of Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ‘em Up Style (Oops)” is any indication, the idols-in-training aren’t exactly stellar w/ good pop songs, either.

[4] Well, really, part of the reason I included this song is just so I had an excuse to listen to it, again.

“... in honor of the void.”

I’ve discovered, after a difficult period of mostly fruitless analysis [1], that when I love a song’s lyrics, I love those lyrics for two very particular reasons:

1. because they use Proper Nouns;

2. because they use dialogue in an interesting way.

(&, well, also, because they’re funny.)

To wit: [2]

A Dangerous Woman Up To A Point once said —
“I’ve never read ‘so-and-so’ so why mention him here, in this square
where culprits axe me, my dear.
Tried to enjoy myself at the Society Ball, really I did.
Froze on Union Street, it was springtime, I was just a kid lost in a map
of the stars others called ‘your eyes.’
It was a trap!
It was a good time!
It was a hard to realize! ...

This is from Destroyer’s “A Dangerous Woman Up to a Point,” from Destroyer’s Rubies, which album is quickly becoming my favorite of 2006, by the way. [3] There are so many fucking brilliant sounds & words on this album, & it just gets better for me every time I listen.

Listen to “A Dangerous Woman Up to a Point”.

[1] Read, sitting around on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, quite happily lazy.

[2] See also: the Fiery Furnaces.

[3] Prior to the release—but after the inevitable leaks—I wrote about “Rubies” (i.e., the song, not the album).

I've got so much to say ("tell us about it Green")

• SO disappointed! I feel as if I've wasted so many hours, now, for it all to have come down to Chloe. I would've been happy with either Santino or Daniel (as strange & bitchy as Daniel got towards the end of the show, I still liked him), but Chloe? I have nothing more to say.
• But through the despair... a ray of hope, coming March 21. How can they possibly follow up the amazing Season 2? Who will be this season's Scott/Brandon-level villain? How will Jonathan adjust to domestic life & parenthood? Are Jonathan and Sescie married yet? [1] Is Jonathan still in therapy? So many questions!
• God, I fucking love Front Row. I love it most for its music-playing abilities, while hooked up to a television, & the way it shows off the album covers. I've been playing a playlist from a party a couple of months ago, & watching the beautiful album covers come across the screen is just mesmerizing.
• I finally bought Scritti Politti's Provision—the only Scritti album I didn't yet have—and am loving "Overnite". I can't get enough of Green Gartside ballads!

[1] The other night, Mena, who didn't watch Season 2, asked something about Jonathan's girlfriend, and both Krissy & I were like, "Sescie!" I didn't know whether to feel proud or dismayed that I've used up part of my memory for that knowledge.

But I settled on proud!

Airplane shuffle!

Few things are as enjoyable as a long plane ride with an iPod on Shuffle mode. [1] Here's some of what I heard during my flight yesterday.

The Go-Betweens, "Clouds" (from 16 Lovers Lane)

This is the version from 16 Lovers Lane, but last weekend I bought the new Go-Betweens live DVD/CD, That Striped Sunlight Sound, and I actually watched the DVD. I don't generally watch concert performances, because I don't find them all that interesting to watch from home. But this show is just so amazing, & warm, & fun, that I watched it, and loved it.

The Fiery Furnaces, "Black-hearted Boy" (from Bitter Tea)

Now that almost all of Bitter Tea has leaked, I'm just even more excited than ever about the new album. This is a fairly typical song from what I've heard of the album—quite poppy, but still with some crazy keyboard action. And backwards-singing.

Guns 'n' Roses, "Mr. Brownstone" (from Appetite for Destruction)

Listening to this all I can think of is just how much the Manic Street Preachers' Generation Terrorists sounds like Guns 'n' Roses. It's really quite amazing: it's the exact same guitar sound, which I suppose is exactly what the Manics were going for.

Busted, "Thunderbirds" (from Thunderbirds / 3AM)

I can't easily explain why I like Busted. Under many other circumstances, I just really can't stand their brand of aggressively sterile post-punk. But this song is just so fun!

Kelley Stoltz, "Ever Thought of Coming Back" (from Below the Branches)

I love this song. Love love love it, & in all of its Beach Boys-sounding self. [2]

Clay Aiken, "Solitaire" (from The Way / Solitaire)

Oh dear, oh dear. I've written about this before, I'm quite ashamed to say. And I still love it. [3]

Celebration, "Diamonds" (from Celebration)

Celebration sounds like a scary carnival ride, with howling, and wild animals, and creepy keyboard-playing carnies, and drunks lurching towards you out of shadows.

But in a good way!

Dusty Springfield, "Breakfast in Bed" (from Dusty in Memphis)

I think this may be one of my favorite songs of all time. "She's hurt you again, I can tell—oh, I know that look so well."—you can almost hear a sly grin on Dusty's face.

[1] Not to mention that plane flights just make me so productive—in part, it's the fact that I have my computer, but I don't have a network connection, so I can actually get things done without getting swamped and/or overwhelmed with incoming email.

[2] And, since I now appreciate Pet Sounds, I'm equipped to make that judgment.

[3] BTW, I am just so fucking sad that Bobby Bennett was voted out this week! His "Copacabana" made me so happy. He was just so awesome.

I want my giant furry coat!

So I was watching XXX: State of the Union tonight, and Mena came downstairs:

Ben: I think they killed Gibbons!
Mena: Oh, really?
Ben: Yeah, and they killed Xander Cage, too!
Mena: ...
Ben: And do you know where? In Bora Bora! It's so sad! He was just on vacation, & so happy!
Mena: ...
Ben: I'm really, really sad about this.
Mena: I'm sensing a post.

I was somewhat disappointed with XXX: State of the Union. I really do love Ice Cube, & there are a fair number of clever references both to the first movie & to other movies, but really: there's no replacing Vin Diesel, is there?

That giant fur coat, that lovable irreverence, that snowboarding down the avalanche scene, &c. So good!

"The geek at your feet says you're neat..."

I can actually write (marginally) technical posts, too!

• Six Apart's first (no, second, or perhaps third) child grows up! I'm thrilled about the idea of people taking a look at TrackBack, improving it, standardizing it, and the like. Ping!
• Plagger (by Tatsuhiko & others) is a fantastic idea. Having developed a bunch of miniature feed-related apps, what I love most about this is that it's essentially the perlbal/qpsmtpd of RSS/Atom feed frameworks.
• Okay, one non-technical link: OMG Girls Aloud reality series! (via)

Amazon knows me so well!

See:

Buy some Jonathan Product at the Sephora Store on Amazon.

It's a motherfucking drinking game! [1]

So, per my last post: Having found a sufficiently interesting drinking game, Mena, Krissy, & I decided to have a wild night of watching Project Runway & drinking Pomegranate cosmos.

Fearing that the drinking game as written might leave all of us a bit too drunk for a work night, Mena thought of a nice twist: after eliminating all of the no-longer-relevant prompts, we printed out the remaining ones in enlarged type, cut them up, and put them into a bag (a Jay McCarroll bag, no less!), then selected one by one our individual prompts, thus dividing up about 40 prompts between the three of us.

Some prompts, of course—e.g., Tim says, "Make it work"—are better than others. We each ended up with about 12, half of which turned out to be relevant in this week's episode.

Mena's ready!

Having selected the prompts, we headed to the television with a pitcher (yes, a pitcher!) of pomegranate cosmos & three glasses [2].

About 20 minutes later, the pizza arrived!

Some notes on the game:

• A good prompt that we didn't have, and which you should include in your PR drinking game, if & when you decide to play it: Tim says, "Gather round, everyone."
• It's surprising how mentally exhausting it is to play a drinking game! We were fiercely concentrating for the entire episode, watching out for both our own & one another's prompts. It was a real team effort.
• One of the prompts I had was A designer's sketch is shown. This turned out to be surprisingly popular, because there's a segment of the show where they basically show every fucking designer's sketch, like four times each! That was a fun part of the show, for me.
• Another popular one: Tim looks concerned. When doesn't Tim look concerned?
• As a bonus, we saw a commercial for the new season of Blow Out. I'm so excited!

Drinking games are so fun!

[1] See this. Thanks to Mena & Krissy for the title!

[2] Mena decided that tumblers would be better than martini glasses, since the latter tend to be fairly easily spillable, & really not right for a drinking game.

"Absolve, absolve, absolve..."

This post is for Mena & Krissy. [1]

I fear I've been remiss—& now quite publicly scolded—in my lack of Project Runway blogging. There is a notion, it seems—quite unjustified, but I suppose not entirely unfounded—that I'm keeping many wonderful links and/or posts to myself, rather than sharing them around. Specifically, w/ the above.

& here, I do so make my penance.

• Krissy made a request for a Tim Gunn drinking game [2]. I don't have a great drinking game of my own to offer, but I do have this link to a PR drinking game, which is, at least, a start. The biggest problem w/ this game, frankly, is that it offers so many drinking opportunities that anyone would end up with alcohol poisoning by the end of an episode. A more finely-tuned game is definitely needed.
• The Project Runway LJ community is incredibly vibrant—10-15 posts per day, hundreds of comments, &c.
• The greatest userpic in all of history, capturing one of the best quotes of the season: "It's a motherfucking walk-off!"
• And, finally, for anyone wishing to buy some PR gear, check out this CafePress store for Project Runway shirts, &c.. "Obey Tim Gunn!"

[1] & also, all of the others at the office who watch Project Runway, a total which is just somewhat incredible to me. It seems that any conversation in the last couple of days will eventually turn round to "OMG Nick, no really!" or "Andrae & Tim at Red Lobster, oh noes!" It's quite fun.

[2] &, btw, is now the top Google result for "tim gunn drinking game".

Zombie Head!

While watching Survivor tonight, & seeing that the reward for the first challenge was the ever-familiar spear & fishing gear, I thought of what would make a great reward for a reward challenge:

A gun!

So many interesting things could happen!

"Once I was happy in happy extremes..."

It seems as though I've read about Aztec Camera for years. In fact, one of my more vivid Aztec Camera associations is reading in my BMG Music monthly brochure about a new AC album, which, based on timing—it was around 1990, and I was about 13—must have been Stray.

Needless to say, the artisans at BMG weren't quite able to convince me to try out Roddy Frame's 90s semi-comeback album. After all, I was probably on the self-selected Hard Rock regimen, & then at the time, I probably stuck with Living Color, or EMF. Or something.

But so anyway, just last week I downloaded an Aztec Camera track. The track was "We Could Send Letters," and I listened to it for the first time yesterday afternoon, & it just fit, somehow.

& so this weekend I headed down to Amoeba and bought High Land, Hard Rain, the first Aztec Camera album. [1]

Anyway, for anyone else who's new to Aztec Camera, the (really short version of the) story: AC is largely just Roddy Frame, from Scotland, and High Land, Hard Rain, released in 1983 (when Roddy was just 19!), is an incredible set of songs about (what else?) love & loss. The obvious musical reference points are The Orange Juice & Elvis Costello, but there's also something much more pastoral about Aztec Camera, sort of an XTC-ish [2] English countryside vibe.

& the tracks on High Land, Hard Rain contain some of the loveliest acoustic guitar playing I've heard in a long time, particularly in e.g. "We Could Send Letters" & "Lost Outside the Tunnel."

I've only had it for about a day now, but I'm already realizing that it's one of those albums that you listen to both sad & happy, happy knowing that you'll love it forever, & it will never grow old, but sad both because you've missed it for 27 years of your life, & but also because it's just a sad, heartbroken sort of an album.

Listen to "Pillar to Post", from High Land, Hard Rain

[1] Also purchased this weekend:

• Spoon, Girls Can Tell
• Destroyer, Streethawk: A Seduction
• Cat Power, The Greatest (more)
• Mick Harvey, One Man's Treasure

[2] BTW, speaking of XTC, did anyone see the Chicago auditions for "American Idol"? That first guy, that guy who sang something I can't remember, but then launched into a ridiculously aggressive version of "Making Plans for Nigel"—that just had me dying. He was all like, "Nigel, Nigel, Nigel!" & then last night, Mena just said that out of the blue. It was quite funny.

"They look like good strong hands, don't they?"

Oh, sigh, The NeverEnding Story always makes me so sad.

This was my favorite movie in the whole world when I was younger.

"That's my song..."

Tonight Mena & I were watching "Skating with Celebrities" [1] and about some particular skater, she said, "He's good," and I laughed, and then she said, "Wait, what's that from?", and then we both said "Snowbird!"

If you're not aware of the genius that is "Snowbird," read Mena's post from a couple of years ago. Briefly put, "Snowbird" was a short film by Bruce McCulloch (of Kids in the Hall fame) that aired on an episode of Saturday Night Live in 1994/95, where Bruce played a struggling—but really great—karaoke singer whose special song was "Snowbird." And it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

Then, one day, I lent it to Mena, and—here's where the story gets a bit hazy—she either lost it, or she taped over it, or her dad taped over it, or Augie ate it, or... & the list goes on.

And so, you know: I've got tapes of pretty much every episode of "Seinfeld" for about five seasons, of "Saturday Night Live" for about at least two seasons, of some fucking show with Randy Quaid & Jonathan Winters that I can't remember the name of, &c.

But that particular episode of SNL, with the best short film ever? It's lost, forever. And people, I need to see "Snowbird."

So Mena & I are collectively asking once again: does someone have "Snowbird" in digital form? Please?

Come on, internet! Don't let us down!

[1] Yes, really. I thought it might inspire a blog post in & of itself, but now, I'm not so sure. It was just kind of sad.

In particular, Todd Bridges. I was telling Mena that it was ironic that he was skating to "Jungle Boogie," considering the Daily Show interview a couple of years ago where he said he was planning a career comeback ala John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. So the thought of "Skating with Celebrities" being his "comeback" makes me very, very sad.

OMG Muppet Love!

Beth Orton's video for "Conceived" is so cute! I like the funny green muppet best.

Link via stereogum.

"We give it up, and then they take it away..."

Two songs I can't get enough of in the past couple of days, & have been listening to somewhat obsessively—through headphones at the office, through my somewhat tinny computer speakers while sitting around at home, through another pair of headphones on my iPod while walking down the street to the grocery store tonight.

Destroyer, "Rubies" (listen) [1]

I've never really heard any Destroyer before, & really my only context was from a quote from PopMatters' review of last year's Tenement Halls album, which I remembered because I thought it was really funny [2]:

And even if I was a huge Rock*A*Teens fan from back in the day, how many Tenement Halls records would me and my seven fellow fan club members realistically buy? ... So even if Dan Bejar of Destroyer thinks Rock*A*Teens were the bloody Herman's Hermits of North Carolina, that won't do much for someone who's listening to Knitting Needles & Bicycle Bells right now.

But so the first time I heard "Rubies"—which song is, btw, 9 and 1/2 minutes long—I was kind of non-committal about it, because it just felt too long & meandering. But then I found myself thinking about it, not in the way that a really catchy track gets stuck in your head, but in this somewhat nagging way that made me want to hear it again.

& so I listened to it again, and now I actually really love it. Bowie-esque intro + incessantly recurring guitar part == very, very fine by me. And then there's my favorite part, at about the four-minute mark, that "... your blues" that almost sounds like it's sighed, rather than sung.

Girls Aloud, "Biology" (listen)

Oddly enough this is another song that I didn't really love at first. Which is, frankly, incredibly odd, because it's one of the most immediately appealing pop singles of 2005 [3] (I was much more into "Models" last year, is my excuse). But "Biology" also almost suffers from multiple personality disorder, & that may be what put me off at first, but is now just why I love it so:

It starts as some sort of bluesy stomp, heavy piano, &c.—and at about a minute in, it turns into this amazing dance pop, all shuffling drums & keyboards, leading up into the shimmering chorus. In fact, I don't know why I'm even bothering to describe it, as this review in Stylus does a much better job:

Beginning like Meg trying to convince Jack White to go to a lap-dance bar with her, it then crashes head-on into light-as-air Europop, the song is about menstruation or pheromones or something, and OH MY GOD THAT CHORUS is exactly how I imagine ascending into Heaven to feel like, floating yet forceful, it nearly snaps your neck with its little finger.

And yes, that's basically it. It's incredible.

[1] Note that the two "listen" links in this post link to The Hype Machine, which is just an awesome resource for finding streamable music along with song reviews on music blogs.

[2] The context for this particular quote being that Dan Bejar (who, as I understand it, basically is Destroyer) wrote the promotional copy for Tenement Halls that appears on the Merge Records site.

[3] And, as luck would have it, it appears on an album that's seen only UK & European release as of yet (Chemistry). I find it absolutely fucking maddening that albums by some of the best current UK pop artists—Sugababes, Rachel Stevens, Girls Aloud, &c.—don't generally get US release.

"Hey Annie, hey Annie, hey Will..."

Annie and Hey Willpower, together at last! This makes me so happy.

(Also streamable.)

"Ladies, let me tell you about myself..."

I was looking at my last.fm weekly charts today [1], and it struck me that one of the things I love most about last.fm is that, by recording what I'm listening to, it's essentially a recorder of my moods. Like a lot of people (I assume?), I tend to listen to music that reinforces my moods, so my list of recently played tracks on last.fm tends to be very indicative of how I'm feeling. [2]

& so I'm reminded of this quote from High Fidelity:

I like being able to see how I got from Deep Purple to Howlin' Wolf in twenty-five moves ... If I want to play, say, Blue by Joni Mitchell [3], I have to remember that I bought it for someone in the autumn of 1983, and thought better of giving it to her, for reasons I don't really want to go into. Well, you don't know any of that, so you're knackered, really, aren't you? You'd have to ask me to dig it out for you, and for some reason I find this enormously comforting.

From Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, p. 55.

And, yes, so: I could tell you how I got from ABBA: Gold & Pet Sounds—two of the saddest pop albums ever—to the bitter & confessional nastiness of The Afghan Whigs' Gentlemen, to the Dusty-esque resignedness of Cat Power's The Greatest. In four days!

But I don't really need to, because my last.fm profile says it all.

[1] As I am wont to do, periodically.

[2] And of course, it strikes me that my blog can do much the same thing, on a less granular scale—which is, of course, one of the things I love most about it. To whit: this post and this post, both from this week.

[3] Though, I have to say, I prefer the example in the movie, which was Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide."

Nick Hornby does seem to have some sort of weird Joni Mitchell thing, doesn't he? (c.f. also About a Boy, which has loads of Joni Mitchell references.)

In case it's not clear, this isn't a compliment.

I was bored & watching SNL (redundant?) last night, and Death Cab for Cutie were playing as the musical guest. More specifically, they were playing their standard boring, OC-appealing, mopey MOR rock.

And this amazing, visionary realization came to me: Death Cab are the Gin Blossoms of 2005! [1]

[1] Or, if you prefer (though could you, possibly, have a preference between these?): the Toad the Wet Sprocket; the Better than Ezra; the Goo Goo Dolls; &c.

"You're supposed to have the answers..."

I'm so, so impressed & astonished by Cat Power's new album, The Greatest.

After trying to like Cat Power a number of times—5 or 6 years ago, my sister was really into her, and so on & so forth—I'd sort of written her off as a somewhat annoying, ironic-cover-singing, Joni Mitchell-esque [1] folk-bullshit singer.

Which is why I was shocked—shocked!—to listen to her new album and hear... Dusty in Memphis, part II! It's amazing: those Memphis horns, that gorgeous soul guitar & bass, those backing harmonies.

And "The Greatest," with its Moon River-alike strings, may be one of the best songs I've heard in months.

[1] Which, in my book, is really the kicker: I really, really dislike Joni Mitchell, especially that song about the fucking parking lots.

"I'm concerned."

I've had this post sitting round for a while but haven't posted it. Sometimes, that happens. But it gave me the chance to add on to it, every week, for the past couple of weeks of episodes! So it's a SuperPost, now.

So: Project Runway Season 2, hooray!

• That tagline on the website: "They sew... she cuts" It's like some cheesy seamstress horror movie!
• In the episode a couple of weeks ago, Guadalupe's sketch for her lingerie line (right). Pow! WTF? Most half-assed sketch ever!
• At first I liked Diana, because she seemed like a sad little science nerd ("OMG my magnets have lost their polarity!"), but lately she's started to bother me. So tonight was a moment of (double!) vindication.

& finally, a brief vignette. At one point a couple of weeks ago, I was telling Mena some juicy tidbit of knowledge about a Project Runway contestant, & why he received the old "you are out", and we were like:

Ben: So yeah, I heard he's really out because [some reason that I don't remember].
Mena: What the fuck? Where did you hear that?
Ben: Well, yeah, so I was listening to Tim Gunn's podcast...

And then I was like, to myself, oh—I listen to Tim Gunn's podcast. That was, you might say, my moment of realization that I'd crossed a certain line w/r/t reality television enjoyment.

"I've been very aware you've been patient with me..."

I can rest peacefully now, my prayers being answered: I like Pet Sounds. [1]

For years, I've had this thing about Pet Sounds, because it's always at the top of greatest-rock/pop-album-ever lists, &c., and I'm always just like, eh? [2]

What finally brought me around was my love for Dios, & by extension, their love for the Beach Boys. & but also my realization/appreciation of the extreme sadness of Pet Sounds. The hummed (?) melody in "You Still Believe in Me"—which Dios nicks wholesale in "Fifty Cents"—has to be one of the most haunting melodies ever.

So, then: I am content.

[1] Indie-Yuppie, moi? "You might be an indie-yuppie if you put on a CD and secretly pray that you'll like it."

[2] Back when Mena wrote this post, I felt exactly the same way, & have obviously only just now come round. Which makes me only about 40 years late.

Cry me a river—of money!

Oh shit, BillG and JT together at CES! [1]

Announcing MTV's new music service, Urge, together, onstage at Gates' keynote at CES. Best keynote EVAR!

[1] Thanks to Anil for bringing this to my attention.

"I want to see some PopoZão!"

Just a short update to my post the other day, rounding up some hot PopoZão link action:

1. Download PopoZão from stereogum!
2. Sing along with this transcription of the lyrics!
3. Just to round it out, enjoy the urban dictionary definition for "PopoZão".

"Keep messin' with my family and you're through!"

This morning, I received an email message that made me very, very happy:

You have received this confirmation subscription email because your address has been submitted to be on the Kevin Federline Mailing List. To confirm your subscription and officially join this list, click on the URL below or copy this URL into your browser.

I don't actually remember signing up to be on the list, but I'm sure I did, back when I was playing the sample of "Y'all Ain't Ready" over & over.

And so now, happy day! Kevin's web site has launched!

Oh, shit! Best Flash intro EVAR! [1]

Note: I guess I didn't sign up for the mailing list—Mena very thoughtfully added me this morning after reading this news story. Yay, Mena!

[1] BTW, the saddest thing of all about the Flash movie (besides the poorly-sychronized music, and the black-on-white text that looks like it was made in Paint Shop Pro, and the teal fade-in drop shadow under "I'm coming... 2006!"): the movie isn't even hosted on his own server! It's on britneyspears.com!

"Got a fist of pure emotion, got a head of shattered dreams..."

Track 10: Take That, "Back For Good"

Okay, so when I mentioned in my introduction post that some songs weren't specifically "about" Christmas, "Back For Good" is what I meant. As far as I know, it's not about Christmas. Not at all, actually.

Or, well—is it? Because would it really be such a staple of Christmas parties, even in television & films, if it didn't subconsciously reflect some sort of Christmas spirit?

Anyway, I've written about "Back For Good" before, but I'm taking this opportunity to elevate it in my personal pantheon from "somewhat guilty pleasure" to "perfect end to a holiday mix." Gary, Robbie et al: consider yourselves elevated.

But so, "Back For Good." Here's the thing: it's perfect pop, & the perfect song to end a holiday mix, or a movie, or a television special. But more specifically, it's the perfect soundtrack to a last dance, wherein you summon the courage to dance with whoever you've been watching all night. [1]

It's a new year soon, after all.

Buy Nobody Else.

[1] Yes, I am sadly under the influence of the (always surprisingly sentimental) The Office Special.

"Can't make it all alone, I built my dreams around you..."

Track 9: The Pogues, "Fairytale of New York"

It starts out as a pretty straightforward drunken Pogues anthem—"it was Christmas eve babe / in the drunk tank". There's something very sad & final about the end of the year, isn't there? I've been certainly feeling it the last couple of days—an increased feeling of nostalgia, heightened sentimentality, etc, as the days grow to a state of overcast darkness in the early afternoon. [1]

And that's what "Fairytale of New York" reminds me of, at first. Except that, after the first verse, it speeds up a bit, & then it's got Kirsty MacColl singing as well, and so it sounds a bit more... personal, & hopeful. That is, it's no longer just a drunken Shane singing to himself at the bar at 3am, because at least this time, he's got someone to sing with.

And for me it's that juxtaposition, the sadness against the hope, the re-evaluation of everything you've done—"I couldn't been someone / well, so, could anyone"—that defines the end of the year, and in a way is why I really like this song as a penultimate [2] track.

Tomorrow, the finale (I know you're eagerly awaiting it!).

Buy If I Should Fall From Grace with God.

[1] I believe it's my right to get all fucking maudlin in December. It's the season for it!

[2] I'm trying to use more 4-syllable-and-above words to increase my Flesch-Kincaid score. I'm a little bit embarrassed of my 4th-grade writing level.

"And when that blue heartache starts hurting..."

Track 8: Low, "Blue Christmas"

Jesus, this song is depressing. It's Christmas for the suicidal!

A cover of an old Elvis tune, but slower, sadder, & less joyful than any other Christmas song, ever. This is from Low's Christmas EP from a couple of years ago, which in and of itself is kind of an odd idea: having managed to depress their entire fanbase—or, at least, attracted an already-depressed set of fans—are Low trying to make every other Christmas-celebrating person miserable as well?

That said, their version of "Blue Christmas" sounds every bit as gorgeous & depressing as a Patsy Cline track like "I Fall to Pieces," but with that recognizable Low spirit, in that:

It's really pretty, which is good! But it makes you want to die, which is bad.

Buy Christmas.

"U R the 1 that makes my love shout..."

Track 7: Prince, "Another Lonely Christmas"

Wherein we hear the tale of our narrator's lover, who had the audacity 2 leave him [1] on Christmas day.

This was a b-side to "I Would Die 4 U" from Purple Rain, and it sounds like it, all the way down to that fading synthesizer at the end. It's a gorgeous ballad that's as big & melodramatic as, say, "Darling Nikki" or "The Beautiful Ones" (to name an applicable few). It's so good.

"Banana daiquiri," though?

Every Christmas night 4 7 years now
I drink banana daiquiris 'til I'm blind

I don't know if I'd've imagined Prince a banana dacquiri man.

Buy the The Hits/The B-Sides.

[1] Well... 2 die.

"All they could see was a girl holdin' a pistol on Claus..."

Track 6: De La Soul, "Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa"

This is from De La Soul's second album, De La Soul is Dead, wherein they shocked fans & critics alike with their newer, darker themes.

Synopsis of this track: everyone loves Millie's father, Dylan (sp? maybe Dillon? Lyrics sites, consistency, please!).

He's the coolest dad EVAR, including the fact that he's a social worker helping out your narrator, and plus he's all dressing up in Santa suits at Macy's round Christmas time. And that's just cool [1].

But in reality, when Dylan gets home, he's molesting & beating Millie. And Millie, for her part, is getting damn fed up. And so finally, Millie gets a gun & takes some drastic action. Oh shit!

What happened to the fucking daisies, De La?

Buy De La Soul is Dead.

[1] I guess?

"This ain't no holiday..."

Track 5: Pixies, "Holiday Song"

You think you're going home for a nice, peaceful holiday with the family, and then...

Honestly, I don't know what Frank Black is on about half the time. And frankly, I don't even know if this song is about holidays, or Christmas.

It does appear to be about incest, for what it's worth, which—admittedly—isn't generally associated with Christmas. But I recognize that tone, Frank Black: you sound like someone fed up with your family. That family that's telling you that you're just not good enough, and asking you how you've disappointed them this year, &c.

Well, so, the message, from me to you: don't sleep with your sister, & don't let your family fuck up your holidays this year. Merry Christmas!

Buy Come on Pilgrim.

"Pause underneath the mistletoe leaf, and you're not here..."

Track 4: The Darkness, "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)"

Enough of the petulant whining about your daddy & your awful Christmas, Sufjan! Let's hear some fucking RAWK!

And, yes: The Darkness abide.

A Christmas tune by The Darkness makes perfect sense, because they're nothing if not the perfect pop band—sure, they happen to feature loud guitars, and dress in tight unitards like a hair metal band, but they're just pop artists at heart! This is sort of an amazingly bouncy power ballad, highlighting Justin Hawkin's amazing falsetto.

As an aside, I really love the domain name of The Darkness' web site: thedarknessrock.com. It's as if they want to quell any doubt: "Do The Darkness rock? Well, they must, because their website says they do!"

"In time the snow will rise..."

Track 3: Sufjan Stevens, "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!"

Did you know that Sufjan Stevens has made 3 albums worth of Christmas music? It fits quite well—so well, in fact, that it's almost as if Christmas carols and Sufjan were made for each other: Christian + banjo + airy voice & harmonies = carolers!

But, whether or not you're annoyed by the idea of carolers showing up at your door singing, this is good stuff. And I'll bet you wouldn't mind Sufjan showing up outside your door in a Santa hat, would you?

"The smile on your face, a tear in your eye..."

Track 2: Orange Juice, "Holiday Hymn"

And now, for some indie pop from Scotland. No, not fucking Franz Ferdinand! Just the band that provided them inspiration for their entire dance-pop oeuvre! [1]

If you don't know Orange Juice: remember that song, "A Girl Like You", by a fellow named Edwyn Collins? It was quite popular in the mid-90s.

Well, anyway, Orange Juice were Edwyn's band in the late 70s/early 80s. They were—and are—critically acclaimed, but as is so often the case, not particularly popular in terms of record sales. And in fact, it's pretty much impossible to find their 2 first albums—"You Can't Hide Your Love Forever" and "Rip it Up"—anywhere.

"Holiday Hymn" is a cover of a Subway Sect song. It's from their (discarded) first album, Ostrich Courtyard, which was collected on the compilation The Glasgow School, released just this year, which also includes a bunch of their early singles.

This isn't my absolute favorite of their songs, but it's fairly representative: jangly guitars, somewhat wobbly & mournfully fey vocals.

Ah, those vocals. This review in the Guardian provides one of the best summaries ever of Edwyn's vocals:

Weaker tunes would certainly have buckled beneath Edwyn Collins' unique approach to vocals. A couple of months ago, the website where Grace Collins has courageously documented her husband's recovery from a cerebral haemorrhage reported that he had been singing again, adding that "his tuning needs working on". "Grace," one fan gently replied, "his tuning always did need work." In fact, you could spend all day throwing adjectives at Collins' voice on The Glasgow School and still not come up with a satisfactory description. Occasionally, he sounded like a Caledonian Bryan Ferry attempting to croon while balancing marbles on his tongue and stifling a fit of the giggles. Usually he sounded more peculiar than that.

Buy The Glasgow School.

[1] Though to their credit, FF do tend to admit it: they're basically the reason why The Glasgow School was released this year, because they're always promoting Orange Juice (or at least, the memory of same). Which is very sweet. Thanks, Alex Kapranos et al!

"Trying very hard to sin..."

Track 1: Sparks, "Thank God It's Not Christmas"

My opinion: this is the perfect start to any holiday mix.

I'm not taking credit for the brilliance, mind you—all of the credit goes to Ron and Russell Mael. But really: could you imagine anything more fun than these operatic vocals? More fitting—for the whole holiday season, & Christmas—than the somewhat troubled undertones of the lyrics against the immensely anthemic pop music?

No: this is perfect, in that really fucked up & weird way that Sparks perfected oh so long ago!

Buy Kimono My House.

And for something fun & bizarre, take a look at this photo shoot of Ron and Russell at the Louvre. Make sure to read the captions underneath the photos, like this:

An amateur artist is trying to reproduce Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. The work is not so bad but Ron Mael has discovered what is wrong: The forger uses Cobalt blue instead of Prussian Blue. What a pitiful mistake!

Those crazy brothers!

Don't let the bells end!

For the past couple of years, I've made mix albums for my family [1]. But they've always just basically been collections of my favorite songs of the year. Which, while fine, always left something wanting: it is, after all, the holiday season, and what could better speak to the twisted & tangled emotions of said season than a holiday mix, full of songs about the holidays?

So, this year, that's what I've made. 10 songs, all about the holidays (or reminding me of them—you'll see, when we get there).

Charlie Brown christmas tree, as very obvious symbol of generally disenfranchised individual.

& because I'm a very lazy bastard, I'm going to write about them on this blog, and I'm going to spread them out into 10 separate posts. What better way to fill up 10 (+1) posts in December? After all, I've got a 4-month-old tradition of posting regularly to this blog, and I've got to keep that up!

I'm also going to be experimenting with posting MP3s of each of these songs. Based on my own experience—I read a ton of MP3 blogs, and the more I read, the more music I buy at proper music stores—this will only lead more people to buy these songs, rather than simply stealing them. [2] That said, I have a fairly conflicted internal relationship with posting music online, mainly because I don't know whether I'm a very representative sample w/r/t my music purchasing habits.

So, in other words: make me proud, people.

I'll start tomorrow, and I'll also keep this post updated with links to each of the tracks. Which are:

1. Sparks, "Thank God It's Not Christmas"
2. Orange Juice, "Holiday Hymn"
3. Sufjan Stevens, "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!"
4. The Darkness, "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)"
5. Pixies, "Holiday Song"
6. De La Soul, "Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa"
7. Prince, "Another Lonely Christmas"
8. Low, "Blue Christmas"
9. The Pogues, "Fairytale of New York"
10. Take That, "Back For Good"

[1] last year's, along with ruminations on same.

[2] I'll also be downsampling them to 96Kbps, which still generally gives a good-enough representation of the song, but without being CD quality. And maybe I'll delete them 10 minutes after posting them, just for fun.

Congratulations to U2 for another wholly unexpected GRAMMY nomination!

Krissy dissects this year's GRAMMY nominations, which are, frankly, as depressing as ever.

Not only are the albums & bands nominated as ridiculously boring & obvious as ever—it's almost as if they have a list of artists who they'll give GRAMMYs too, and they go down that list, saying "did he release anything this year? Nope. Did she release anything? Yep, she's nominated!"—but it's just all so fucking soulless.

It's as if they've taken music, squeezed all the life out of it, & then judged it on a set of computerized rules. Note that I'm not anti-computer, obviously. But music awards in general have always struck me as particularly useless—in fact, their only use for me is in finding things I may have missed during the year. For example, Stylus Magazine's Top 50 Singles of 2005 list, which contains a lot of stuff I've already got, and a lot I don't and would probably like. So that's interesting to me.

But when you take a set of awards like the GRAMMYs, which are geared at essentially making music recommendations for the most boring people in the world, that's just so very dull.

I mean, it's apparent just in their published criteria for the individual categories. For example, this note for a bunch of their "Best Album" awards:

(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

Do they actually measure it, do you think?

"She asked me if we could be friends..."

So, I recorded Sign o' the Times on our TiVo this past weekend, and ever since I've been trying to figure out how to get it off of the TiVo. As in, off of the TiVo, and onto a DVD or my (Mac) laptop.

But so BTW, before I delve into the tech stuff, a brief aside that's worthy of the main post, as opposed to a footnote: Sign o' the Times is so fucking awesome. And it's not really easily available on DVD, which is just totally lame.

Favorite things about Sign o' the Times:

• When, during "Hot Thing," Prince slides across the stage under Cat Glover's legs, and rips off her skirt with his teeth. (Or, I guess, almost—he actually appears to grab it with his hand, then transfer it to between his teeth. Yes, I've now watched this part too many times in the writing of this post.) But still: how awesome is Prince!
• This movie is just so brilliantly directed. The cuts & closeups are as good as a music video, which is pretty incredible with what appears to be concert footage. [1]
• This is a really great mini-review of the movie. Of course, it would be, as the author wrote a book on the subject.
• "I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man". Best. Song. EVAR.

So, all of that said: We only have Macs around the house (around 6 of them now that we've amassed, but quantity doesn't help, in this case), so we can't use TiVoToGo. And really, what I most want is just to be able to burn this to a DVD, so I can watch it over & over again. It seems so simple: it's a file, made of bits, on a hard drive on (what is basically) a Linux box, that is on our fucking network. Why can't I just mount the box and copy the file to my laptop, then play it? [2]

So finally, from a comment on this post, I figured out part of the answer:

Open up a web browser and go to https://(the ip address of your tivo)/nowplaying/index.html and login as tivo with a password of your media access code (from the Tivo view settings screen) It will let you access a website where you can download the *.tivo files of your shows.

Yay! Now I have the .tivo file, though I can't actually do anything with it without a PC with TiVo ToGo.

And yet somehow, just the idea of having this file on my own hard drive makes me feel so much more secure!

Prince: you're safe now.

[1] Of course, it's not actually concert footage, which is the reason it looks so good. It turns out it's a lot easier when you reshoot the entire movie at your own studio!

[2] This is a rhetorical question.

"And I love what you've done with your hair... oh yeah!"

I love it when music makes me happy! & tonight, it's been doing just that.

I heard The Ark's "Echo Chamber" when it was posted on Fluxblog a year and a half ago, totally loved it, & I've been looking for We Are the Ark at record stores ever since (unsuccessfully) [1].

So anyway, I was thrilled to read tonight on The Tofu Hut that The Ark have a new album, "State of the Ark" [2], which is streamable on The Ark's official website.

And also, & on a related note, I picked up the new Darkness album yesterday, and it's just brilliant—they're embracing their inner Queen even more than before. [3] This post does a better job than I could of describing how awesomely rawk the Darkness are (& also raves quite a bit about The Ark).

[1] I could've just bought it off of Amazon, but I hate paying import prices for music that should rightly have been released in the US. It just doesn't seem fair!

[2] Which has been out in Europe for awhile, and which may (?) be released in the US in 2006.

[3] I had only heard snippets of "One Way Ticket," the first single, before buying the album—and I seriously thought I'd accidentally bought the wrong CD when it started with a fucking panflute. But it's all part of the fun!

"No, I can't stop yelling, cause that's how I talk!"

The other day, Mena downloaded a compilation called "Delete the Beatles", which contains all of the Beatles songs performed by other artists. It's actually pretty interesting to listen to.

But the point being, we were just sitting around, and she was choosing songs to play from it—& so she put on the version of "Fool on the Hill" by an 11-year-old Björk, which is, frankly, excruciating.

And so, then, the following:

Ben: This is awful. This is the worst song ever.
Mena: Oh, no, it isn't!
Ben: Yes, it is.
Mena: I'll bet you won't say that after you hear this...

At which point, she put on what truly is the worst song ever: Bill Cosby's version of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band". Listen to it here.

This is, possibly, simultaneously the best & worst thing ever. There's no other way to describe it than Bill Cosby shouting over the backing band & vocals. In fact, what it reminds me most of is the "Samuel Jackson Beer" skit from the Chappelle Show (watch it here).

Looks like the real thing.

Quite randomly, yesterday our TiVo decided to tape an episode of Beavis & Butt-head from 1995.

I feel like Mena & I have somewhat of a history with Beavis & Butt-head, in that we actually saw Beavis & Butt-head Do America in the theater [1]. I think that probably makes us fairly unique, given how poorly the movie did. I don't even remember the movie much, but I do remember always loving the television show. My favorite part was always the music videos, because that's when they'd get their best lines in—that's where you'd get pop-cultural references, and the cleverly roundabout slams on the artists in the videos.

So in the episode I saw today ("Whiplash"), they were watching the video for "Fake Plastic Trees", which is just such a self-pitying piece of shit [2] (both the song and the video, I think). And so anyway, the video begins, the acoustic guitar comes on, and there are all these fluorescent supermarket lights, etc.

And then, Thom Yorke comes on for the first time, looking all pathetic and pushing a shopping cart. And this is where the magic begins!

Butt-head: "Hey, that looks like that dude. He was on TV, and then they made a cartoon out of him."

Beavis: "Oh yeah, yeah. He's got that shirt, and then his hair's all like a point on the top of his head."

"..."

"Yeah, yeah, what's his name?"

"Uh... Yeah, what is his name?"

"Oh... damnit... what's it, he's um..."

"..."

"Oh yeah yeah, he's like always going, 'I must say'..."

"Uh, yeah... And then he's like, always saying he's going to be on Wheel of Fortune, and he's like, all into Pat Sajak."

"..."

"Uh, Wiggly... Smeggly..."

"No, that's not it. Damnit! Damnit! This guy looks just like him! Damnit! I'm forgetting everything! I can't remember anything anymore!"

And then Beavis starts getting all frustrated, and asks Butt-head to hit him, and then he finally remembers Ed Grimley's name.

It's just so fantastic! I cried.

BTW, I really wish I could find a clip of this episode online, but I can't find it anywhere. I still have it on our TiVo. Can I get it onto my computer somehow?

[1] amazingly, considering that we hardly ever go to movies anymore. But we used to go see pretty much anything in the theater, because we were so bored in college. We even saw The Waterboy.

[2] One of my favorite things I've ever heard about "Fake Plastic Trees" was in Clueless, where Cher calls it "the maudlin music of the university station... waah, waah, waah." So funny! [3]

[3] And which is also sort of weird, because right after this line, Cher and Josh sit down to watch TV, and Beavis & Butt-head are on. Full circle!

Oh shit! It's a recursive footnote explosion.

You know what I hate about Spanglish? [1]

Everything, except for [2].

[1] There's only one thing that I like about Spanglish. [2]

[2] Paz Vega, c.f. [1].

You broke my heart.

SPOILER ALERT. Or something. It's in bullet number one, if you actually care about Top Model.

• Wow, Lisa [1]. I'm actually surprised, but not so much, because she was really starting to bug me lots in recent weeks. And frankly, I considered myself a pretty big supporter of Lisa. Every time Mena would say, "Ben likes her, but he's an idiot," [2] I'd say, "But she takes such great pictures!" But then it just stopped mattering, because she was so annoying.
• I've been listening a lot to the Dios (Malos) album, which is unexpectedly one of my favorite albums of this year. Going in, I didn't have any reference points or comparisons for it [3], which lack of baggage may be part of the reason why I'm enjoying it so much. But it's this great fun pop music, sort of sad, sort of relaxing in a druggy way, but at the same time—maybe even inexplicably—happiness-creating.
• I am, admittedly, a little bit obsessed with The Godfather: Part II. It's a fucking long movie, and usually, even a 90-minute movie is too much of a commitment for me. And not only that, but it's a really, really depressing movie. I mean, you know this, I'm sure, having watched it (right?), but it's really depressing! That look on Michael's face at the end? It kills me, every time, but I just can't stop watching it.

[1] Who, I think, I liked better with dark hair. But that's just me.

[2] This is a total exaggeration.

[3] Except for the really obvious ones, which don't really affect me that much, because I'm not a big fan of either the Beach Boys or Neil Young.

"And then things get a little more interesting..."

Since this blog is basically a chronicle of the (presumably) embarrassing thoughts that go through my head, here's the latest:

R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet (Chapters 1-12) is the best album [1] of 2005.

I remember, a couple of months ago, watching R. Kelly perform one of the tracks in a one-man show on the VMAs, and just being completely mesmerized, watching him act out all of the parts on stage. It was incredible. That's the feeling that the music induces in you—it's really hypnotic, and yet at the same time it's really, really fucking funny. "Rufus!" "Kathy!" etc. And it's so smooth.

So tonight, after listening to the album all day on repeat, I put it on at Foo Bar [2], and I've got to say, I received some pretty negative comments! Maybe I should've expected it: putting on 12 R. Kelly songs in a row might overwhelm a casual listener. Or maybe people at the office just don't like R. Kelly. And yeah, it's not like we have the ultimate sound system for playing music at Foo Bar, and so it all turned out rather bass-heavy.

But at one point, Mena—who's generally pretty anti-R. Kelly—went in to change the music, per popular opinion, but ended up leaving it on, because she just got hooked. And that's how good it is! [3]

But seriously, these are some awesomely good jams. And the story is just so ridiculous, and just keeps getting more ridiculous as it goes on, and you just want to laugh. But it gives me the chills, all the same, for some reason.

[1] Well, "album," since I guess it's actually a DVD. R. Kelly makes things so confusing!

[2] Our weekly office social, basically, where we sit around, talk, gossip, etc, and relax. It's fun.

[3] But you know, the incessant <pop> sound, that sounds just like the iChat new message sound, is really, really distracting when you're trying to work. It's true.

"I want the truth so bad that I'll believe it all..."

The new Neil Diamond album is seriously fantastic.

Granted, that might not sound like the first sentence of a blog post you'd read in 2005. [1]

And I confess, I've never been a really big Neil Diamond fan, but his new album, "12 Songs," is just amazing stuff. It's very stripped down & acoustic—just a guitar, a piano, some light strings, and that simultaneously smooth & rough Neil Diamond voice—though not to the point of being reduced to a requisite "unplugged" record, happily. But just to the point where it sounds like it makes sense, as if these are, somehow, the ideal arrangements for these songs.

And so it's much less melodramatic than the version of Neil Diamond that I have in my head, and all the better for it (it's no "America," in other words). And the first song, "Oh Mary"? This is some seriously haunting stuff.

It's apparently streamable on MySpace, but the Flash thing won't load for me. It also happens to be available on file sharing networks, but don't let that stop you from buying it when it's released on Tuesday.

[1] Well, yes, maybe it would on this blog, where talk of Clay Aiken and Selena is the norm. So there, I preempted your planned putdown!

I've got Pavarottis following me, too!

This sample from K-Fed's upcoming album is so. Fucking. Funny. (transcription of the lyrics)

As is this:

Update: According to the Hollertronix boards, K-Fed actually is saying "Pavarotti": "I've been informed that's just K-Fed slang for papparazzi, he calls them Pavarottis in real life. that's his style..."

What I love most about this is imagining the first time K-Fed said "pavarotti" instead of "papparazzi". I'll bet his friends/entourage/hangers-on were like, "um, WTF's he mean?" And then they'd be all quietly embarrassed for him, but not want to say anything that might make him upset. So they didn't say anything, and then just kind of got stuck being quiet, and voting their implicit agreement on his "slang."

That's my version of the story, at least.

But anyway, the only bad thing about the sample is that it's so short (52 seconds), so I keep playing it over & over, and now it's basically the only thing listed under "Recent tracks" in my last.fm profile.

And that's a little embarrassing.

Formula #51: Complaints, leading into a list

Another in an unfortunate series [1].

Muni was slow again today (shocking!). And plus, I didn't realize that they'd raised their rates again (to $1.50), which, if the service actually worked, wouldn't bother me so much. So I was upset, at the slowness and all. And it was really hot out, and after being in New York for the weekend, that kind of annoyed me, too, because I'd kind of like a proper fall, where the sky is perfectly clear and bright, but the air is warm-coat cold.

And plus, so my Shuffle broke a couple of weeks ago, and completely refuses to mount on my computer. And it's also out of power.

So I've been using my trusty 3-year-old first generation iPod, which still manages to do a very good job of shuffling. Witness, from this morning:

1. Gang of Four, "At Home He's a Tourist"
2. Jackson and his Computer Band, "Fast Life"
3. Selena, "Como la Flor"
4. MC Solaar, "Matière Grasse Contre Matière Grise"
5. Scott Walker, "Rosemary"
6. Franz Ferdinand, "What You Meant"
7. The Clientele, "My Own Face Inside the Trees"
8. Dios Malos, "EPK"

[1] Well, unfortunate for you, but quite fortunate for me, because it's something for me to write.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged

So, I'm a Keira Knightly fan, and all, but um, yeah. I'm not so sure about this new Pride and Prejudice.

Maybe it's just the forced zaniness of the trailer, or maybe it's that stupid narration starring the ubiquitous trailer voice. Here's a sample: "the story of a modern woman... who discovered the one person she cannot stand is the one man she may not be able to resist."

Oh, fuck no! You do not reduce Pride and Prejudice to a fucking one-liner.

Or, maybe, you do, but seriously, it isn't that. If anything, it's the first line of the book. But then again, that might sound odd & pretentious, from the mouth of the ubiquitous narrator.

Anyway, give me the BBC miniseries production any day.

I'm a Bad Sportsmanship

You can tell you're writing a lazy post when the first thing you type is <ul>. [1]

• Best episode of "Survivor" in a long time, tonight. The sexually charged screaming match between Jamie & Bobby Jon? Amy getting trapped under the ball? Judd denying that Yaxha was a "bad sportsmanship"? I love personal conflicts, therefore I love Judd. Q.E.D.
• Oh fuck no, not Housequake! [2]